Life these days is very full on. We may not be chasing buffalo or carrying water, but we seem to have designed a life full of demands and expectations, that runs at a very fast pace.
These days, it has become really important to be able to manage our energy levels so that we don’t become overwhelmed, unwell or just resentful of our lives, activities and relationships.
I have always struggled with my energy levels, but it took until my 30’s to recognize that certain relationships were impacting badly on my energy and ultimately on my happiness.
I imagine that you all know people who leave you feeling a bit discombobulated, tired or just plain irritated? Sometimes its not until a few hours later that you notice your energy seeping away or sometimes it happens immediately you start talking to them.
Please believe me, I am not intending to be unkind. Often quite sprightly, energetic people have this effect – we are not just talking about people who “dump” problems on you. If we think at an energetic level, sometimes people act as energy vampires, but they are completely unaware of the effect they are having on others.
Should we completely avoid them? No, well not unless you really struggle to plug your energy leaks or just can’t find a way to make the relationship work well or it is taking its toll in a really unhealthy way.
How this relationship works, the way the energy feels like it is being sucked away, often says as much about you, as it does the other person. So it is equally your responsibility to manage your self and your energy.
With energetic “thingys” I view them in terms of energy “drainers” and energy “gainers”. Sometimes good things can drain your energy and things which should tire you out, just don’t. For example, a very late night out with really good friends, doing something fun or interesting may well leave you with more energy than the draining effects of a late night? Sometimes being around a hyper energetic person can leave you feeling completely awful. Sometime working really hard to complete a project, may feel exhausting but the feeling of satisfaction afterwards negates the tiredness.
So my challenge to you is this. Make a list (codified in case of people seeing it) of people in your life. What is your initial reaction when you think about them? Are they an energy vampire/drainer or gainer? After identifying your initial response, start thinking about the different activities you do with them. Does that change things? (e.g. is a certain family member difficult to be with when you just sit in the lounge chatting but good fun to be with if you go bowling?) Also do an audit of how you are feeling before you see them. Does this change things?
Often the energy is affected by the following:
– the activity we do with the person
– our expectation of the interaction/meeting (e.g. dread is not a good starting place)
– how we are feeling in ourselves (Is your self esteem a bit low already? Have you had a rough couple of weeks?)
– how much we can “protect” ourselves from the draining e.g. how much we prevent it from affecting us.
Discovery Party really know the value in friendships and health relationships, so we feel passionate about making as many of our relationships energy gaining, so do try the above and see if you can shift the dynamic in the relationships you find difficult, be they at home, work or play!