So I really want to write something helpful for you all, in light of the impending Christmas festivities. But Christmas doesn’t come naturally to me…as you might have gathered if you read the last couple of blog postings!
There’s a new advert on TV at the moment, which shows a mum scurrying round, preparing stuff, buying stuff in the run up to the 25th. She tackles the prickly tree that’s too large to get in the car, the endless card writing and the tangled lights. Cut to her being woken from a deep sleep by very excited children she then starts peeling spuds, cooking turkey, laying the table….and then you see her looking into the lounge on Christmas day, surveying the smiling, faces and sleeping grannies (I might have made that bit up). The voice over then says “Christmas doesn’t happen by magic..behind every Christmas there’s a mum (and behind every mum, there’s Asda”)
I watched this ad for the first time last night and offered an alternative tag line “….behind every Christmas there is an exhausted mum”. (I just chuckled as I found the webpage about this ad campaign and apparently there have been complaints about sexism).
So what is most helpful for the next couple of weeks?
– Is it how to survive the heaving shops without ending up with a migraine?
– Is it how to buy nice presents without going into debt?
– Is it how to trim a few people off the Christmas card list?
– Is it how to deal with a post Christmas party hangover and still get the kids to school?
– Is it how to deal with difficult relationships on Christmas day?
– Or how to avoid visiting relatives you really don’t want to visit?
OK. Here I go then – you can have it all:
1) If you’ve left it too late for internet shopping, go early morning or late night or choose the small out of town shops that are not part of a nightmarish traffic system. Choose regular coffee and snack breaks. Promise yourself a treat during the day. Buy yourself a surprise from you. Don’t buy heavy stuff or bulky stuff. Take a trendy trolley!
2) I’m finding I’m spending more as my children get older but it doesn’t look that way under the tree as the size of the pressies gets smaller! If you keep raising the stakes, you end up spending more each year. Remember what they really loved last year. What did they play with most? What do you know they could really do without? What will be memorable? Could you get something really nice, but second hand – there are some great used toy shops out there. Ask yourself, am I just buying this for the sake of having something to give or will they really value it? If not, buy consumables or socks – you can never have too many socks.
3) Trim the card list…Oh are you shocked? Well don’t be. There are people that I have sent cards to for years, knowing that it’s pointless and can actually induce guilt in them, if they haven’t sent one back. I reckon it costs about £1 to send each card now, and it adds up and that’s not considering the environmental impact either! It’s OK. You don’t have to hold on tight to every person you have ever met. Joan and Arthur from the cruise in 2004 aren’t that bothered. Please don’t mistake this for neglecting loving friendships – you know that’s not what I mean.
4) The Hangover. There are no suggestions. Enjoy the party. Reveal in the lack of work performance this day. Acknowledge that the hangover will pass and over the years, you have become highly skilled at coping with a hangover at work, without people noticing.
5) Let’s take the last point next. Just summon up the courage to be authentic. Suffering visiting relatives is unpleasant for all parties. It’s not noble and we weren’t put on this planet to suffer needlessly. Christmas is a joyful time, honestly.
6) My personal strategy with difficult relationships, has always been to hide in the kitchen, with a bottle of sherry, which isn’t hard to do over Christmas. But we now have an open plan house and there is not hiding to be done! If avoidance is not possible, there is great measure in visualising things going really well, before the actual encounter and the difficult parties all smiling and happy (apparently police and ninjas do this when going into difficult situations, hostage ones etc and it works!). You could also remind yourself that it’s not your job to make everyone happy and rescue them from pain. Keeping people occupied has been my second technique. Games and lots of them. Share out the jobs like the mountain of peeling, the washing up, laying the table (the kids like that one as they can make it pretty), opening the wine, carving the turkey…all these jobs can be delegated…people do better when they are busy. And don’t forget – helpful amounts of booze.
7) If all else fails, play the Pogues and Kirsty McColl really loud and enjoy the rude bit!
So there you have it…I feel like I have done my coachly duties and hopefully it doesn’t sound too cynical!